Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Sarah Palin is the worst person in the world.

Doncha know.

I made the unfortunate mistake a couple weeks ago of briefly stopping at Sarah Palin's Alaska whilst flipping through the channels. Wow, that woman is stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now, there have been a lot of female Republicans in the past with whom I've fundamentally disagreed: Ann Coulter, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Laura Bush. However, regardless of my disagreement with these women, I have, nonetheless, respected them as educated, well spoken persons whose opinions happened to differ from mine. However, Sarah Palin represents a new and dangerous trend from the Right: female Republican personalities who are idiots. Morons. Genetic anomalies. Here are some of my favorite examples:

Michele Bachmann, Representative from Hell's 6th congressional district

Christine O'Donnell, Senate candidate from Salem, Mass.

Any blond, female, Fox News "correspondent." They're all blond, they all have the intellectual curiosity of an amoeba.

You may be asking exactly what the tipping point for me was. Why am I so angry at stupid republicans now? Why am I focusing my wrath on the moronic females? There are, after all, plenty of moronic males in the Republican party. Well, while I was watching Sarah Palin's Alaska, a comment emerged from Sarah's lips that I find unforgivable. You see, at the time, Sarah and her daughters were out fishing with Todd (and, as a side note, I grew up fishing, and it looked as if this was the first time Sarah or any of her children had been fishing). Sarah was complaining about how Todd was catching all the fish, but then she turned to the camera and said "But I suppose that's his place. He's the man and he should be providing for us."

Really, Sarah? Really?

You're going to rely on Todd, who spends his professional career being your husband and "racing" snowmobiles, to provide food? You do realize that you were once the governor of Alaska, don't you? I'm pretty sure you're the one providing the food. I find your antiquated and esoteric views humorous, especially since they are glaringly false.

Now, as I understand the show (bear with me, I've never watched an entire episode), the premise behind Sarah Palin's Alaska is that we are just "looking in" on the everyday activities of Sarah and her family as they perform their "routine" tasks of fishing, hunting, rock climbing, shooting wildlife from helicopters, touring Wal-Marts around the country, etc. (well, the first three are accurate, at least). The idea that any of these "sportsman" activities are part of Sarah's everyday routine is ridiculous. The show has the honesty in appearance of RuPaul's Drag Race

The only difference between the two is RuPaul is more woman than Sarah Palin could ever hope to be

(As a side note, RuPaul's Drag Race is fabulous. In mentioning her show here, I, by no means, had the intention of degrading its faboulousity)

Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, et al. can barely construct coherent sentences. Involving these women in politics is an absolute farce and it is completely transparent. The GOP is pandering to, who they view as, the lowest common denominator.

The GOP (and Fox News, for that matter) think we're stupid. Therefore, they're putting forth women with the mental capacity of fruit flies for two reasons.

1) These are women with whom they believe the American public can relate

2) These are women they have deemed as easily controlled (due to their previously mentioned intellectual deficiencies)

Oh, and a third:

3) These are women with whom straight men want to have sex. It's the same logic as nominating George W. Bush for president (the candidate with whom America wanted to have a beer)

I find this stupefying of our culture to be offensive and dangerous. I would prefer a leader who's smarter than me than one whose greatest qualification is receiving the Miss Congeniality title in the Miss Alaska pageant.

What's most offensive to me is that this is not a phenomenon that is exclusive to the Right alone. Barack Obama is, I believe, one of the most intellectually capable presidents this country has ever seen. That being said, the title of the book he authored just prior to the election was grammatically incorrect.

Bitch, please. You know better than that.

Any student who completed 6th grade English would recognize that "Change we can believe in" is grammatically incorrect. Certainly a U.S. Senator who received his J.D., Magna Cum Laude, from Harvard Law School would recognize this fact. (By the way, this is the reason I caucused for Hillary). When I pointed this out to my friends, the most acceptable rationalization I heard was "Maybe 'Change in which we can believe' sounds too brainy." Again, pandering to the perceived lowest common denominator.

Anyway, I know I've meandered a bit from my initial hypothesis. Sarah Palin is the worst person in the world. She has views of feminism that haven't been appropriate since the 1950's and will destroy this country if we do not force her back into obscurity. And I'm not just saying that because Levi Johnston is a dreamboat.

Although I'm sure it does affect my decision making process...

1 comment:

  1. Hey, as your fruit fly, I take offense! Otherwise, right on. And what's with all these demands she makes when she appears publicly? People have to wait in line to get a ticket to wait in line to wait in line to have their book signed? And they're warned ahead of time that there will not be time for personal messages! Unlike David Sedaris, who put a personal message in almost every book he signed at his recent Ames Borders signing. And I don't think he asked for flexible straws either! God, she sucks.